I don't know about you, but I feel near defeat in all areas of my life on a regular basis. When things don't go exactly as I like in my home or my business (what was that about external control?) all the old scripts and fears come up telling me why what I want is not possible and or why I'm not good enough. And it was in those moments in my past that I would let those feelings of fear and guilt defeat me, and I would roll over and a little part on the inside of me would die.
But it wasn't gone forever, I found out. That part of you can be brought back to life. A resurrection, so to speak (Happy Easter by the way :D).
To avoid defeat, we spend so much of our lives in the sure thing, and taking the safe route to what we define as success. We check off all the boxes: College (check!), Career (check!), Car (check!), House (check!), Engagement (check!), Wedding (check!), Baby (check!), and then we get to the end of the path we defined as success and realize--"Wait a second! I don't feel free, fulfilled, content and happy here. What gives??"
The truth is, we spent so much time following the path we thought we should be following, that we responded to our fear and guilt at every turn. Instead of living in our hopes, our dreams and possibilities, we took the safe route, and played the "maybe someday" game.
There is no someday.
I see you, Mom. You have an extreme fear of not being worthy or good enough.
If I give to my kids, I'm no good at my job. (Guilt)
If I give to my job, I'm no good for my kids. (EXTREME Guilt)
If I give to myself, I am no good at anything. (An APOCALYPTIC amount of guilt!)
Our FEAR has us living backwards, and doing things that just perpetuate into more fear, longing, and lack.
What does that sound like if we have a conversation instead focused on what we want and act as if fear wasn't present?
If I give to myself, I will feel amazing
If I feel amazing, I will be more present and in the moment
If I am present and in the moment, I will be a better Mom, Wife, employee, friend, daughter, sister
If I am better at everything that I do, I will feel more fulfilled
If I feel more fulfilled, I will be UNSTOPPABLE!
Fear is just a thought and reaction in our head. It is not an endpoint or the boss. We can acknowledge that fear will exist whenever we try to do something different than the status quo, the sure thing, and what others--and probably yourself--has judged as appropriate, acceptable or possible.
So the next time you're confronted with a thought of fear or guilt, treat it as a thought. Recognize that it's not the truth, and choose to use that thought as a springboard to propel you forward into what you really want to be, do, and have in your life. It IS possible to get out of the problems, and blocks, and fears, and limiting beliefs that we respond to and hold us back.
Once you get that clarity on what you want and who you want to be, you start to create solutions, knock down blocks, and begin writing new and empowering scripts and thoughts that will serve you to be who you want to be, and live the way you want to live.